By Sally-Anne Marler - Creative Arts Facilitator & Happiness Coach
We often underestimate the power of self-talk and how it can adversely effect our actions, behaviours, beliefs and shape our thoughts. We all mumble things to ourselves, think things that are quite self-critical, scold ourselves when we forget something or for not doing or saying something. What we don't realise is the damage that this does to our confidence and self-esteem and how it can soon start to become habitual and expected.
The first step in remedying this is to become aware of it. Once you've done that you can then start to challenge anything you are saying to yourself that might be hurtful, judgmental or critical. For some - you may be able to identify where this voice comes from - it could be a parent figure or just something you started to do when you were younger, a coping mechanism for example if you were being picked on or singled out with your friends or at school. Once you have done that, try to challenge it in a way that is gentle but assertive. A counter responsive act to neutralise your initial thought! Below are a few examples you can try...
Lastly, think of yourself in the same way you would a good friend or a loving family member and ask yourself would you speak to them that way? The answer will undoubtedly be no, you wouldn't. So why talk to yourself that way. You deserve better, you are better, you are now and will always be a work in progress just like everyone else. Give yourself and show yourself a little compassion, a little kindness along with a dollop of patience and love. How we speak to ourselves will have a direct influence on how we work with others, approach opportunities and shape our perspectives on day to day living. Start where you are. Start with you.
I offer 1:1 coaching helping you place the focus back onto you, working positively with you so you start to notice your strengths and identify better with your likes, passions and sense of purpose and meaning. I offer a free 20 minute consultation and work creatively with you using journals to help this process. To find out more get in touch or book your free consultation.